Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Process for Masters in USA (Applicable for Indian Students) with dark humorous touch :P

To begin with the process, research about good universities, acceptance criteria and budget things on https://yocket.in/ they have pretty good material available! :) 

Once you have checked the universities details here check their websites and application forms to get the sense of what details are required.

1. Appear for tests required for entrance criteria i.e. GRE , TOEFL or IELTS
2. Okay done with it? cool -- are you sure you got good enough marks to apply for a good school ??? If yes then go to next step else repeat first step after identifying what you missed in the previous test.
3. Check the deadlines for the semester u want to join in .....Fall or Spring are the only ones available for international students most of the time*
4. Okay do u have like 3-4 months till deadline? Good u have enough time else you are screwed and wait for the next cycle... carry on to the next step
5. Now u have to run to ur colleges to get the transcripts ... basically paying ur school to get u the same bullsh*t scores u got just in the format required by the expensive university u r applying for (don't worry all univ have the same format)**
6. Okay while u have ur transcripts on ur way .... go and request for the Letter of recommendations from your Professors (yes I said request(or beg? don't be creepy tho!))... u have to ... awesome.. if your teachers know you even more awesome.... if they don't and fantastic... if they are retired ... :P (kidding it sucks)
7. 3 type of Professors can so the magic
0ne) Your Project guide (yaiks.)
Two) your fav subject teacher (good) in which you want to do your major
Three) any other Professor or ur class teacher if not found then ur immediate boss who knows u r leaving and is fine with it (or not? but u gotta suck it up and ask for it)
8. VVIMP these people should have time to read the shit LORs u wrote and have time to submit online LORS .... if nothing else
get their contact numbers, email id, house address, spouse/gf/bf name, aadhar card number ... (wait don't get too ahead of yourself just ask for first two its good enough)
9. Now write LORs(3) and Statement Of Purpose--- these are the most imp docs except ur report cards and GRE marks (they literally judge you on these)
While u can pay a shit load of money to various agencies to write these(LORS and SOP) for u ... DONT... yes I said DONT ... cause I ended up rewriting it to make sure I have the right content for 10 times.
Thanks to n number of people who reviewed the crap I wrote ...
Pour your heart out while writing those and make sure u use the fancy words which u studied for GRE exam (they use those in common language ...unlike I eat english... I sleep english and other sh*t)
10. Did u get all these things right? Now take a deep breath .... and look at your pockets ... cause soon they are gonna become empty...
11. Apply to the universities u want and u might be able to get into... PAY the godddamn money. 
Don't be that bad ass kid who applies to just top 5-7 universities; who pays them for nothing and spends his/her/parent's money to buy an ICE from snow blizzards in USA
(it's a true story people sell such things under terms and conditions that it might melt (duh common sense)... and some over enthusiasts buy it (noobs noobs all over the place))
12. Basically know your limits ... do some research on https://yocket.in/
13. Now wait for the replies ... from Universities ... don't worry about rejections... its not a marriage proposal from 
BeyoncĂ©  to feel sad about (are u kidding yourself? do u think u will ever get one from her???)
14. Got ur first acceptance ?? Yay ! celebrate!! Hurayyyy.... (Don't post it on fb... u show off)
15. Now if u have one college or bunch of acceptance letters ... ask for i20 from ONLY the one or 2 univ which u really wanna go for but haven't made final decision yet ...
(if u r a good kid ask for the only one u wanna join..)
16. Follow up to those univ to give u CORRECT i20 with 100% perfect details on it ... don't mess it up...
17. Make sure you have all the money which is mentioned in the i20 ....This is a deal breaker ... really!!!
18. Apply for VISA and get appointments 1 office and 2 actual interview appointment .. not telling a lot.... go and google the required documents
19. Pray to god, mom, dad and whichever higher authority who u think will approve ur visa(visa guy or girl with american accent *wink* *wink*) ... go in there and rock!
20. Didn't get Visa??? Don't take another appointment blindly !!
Fix what u missed out on ... ask people ... with whom u can share ur financial details
(don't go to shady people.... they'll steal ur money hahahaha)
21. Got everything done? ... did it get approve?? good! Take the next flight to GOA, or visit ur childhood friends and relatives and enjoy the time til u catch the flight to USA
--- That's about it --- for anything else join the fb groups of univ and chat with new "friends" ... n enjoy!
(don't worry u'll survive!! I did !! ) All the best!
* terms and conditions apply
​** except a few they ask for Transcripts from MU (Bummer) ASU does that and a bunch of others check it online. ​